Stuck Inside My Head

de·pres·sion

(1): a state of feeling sad : dejection (2): a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies c (1): a reduction in activity, amount, quality, or force (2): a lowering of vitality or functional activity

It has come to my attention that there might actually be a word to describe my current state of mind. Depression. Ugh. I really hate that word. Unfortunately, I am not a stranger to this condition. I believe I suffered from post-partum depression for about a year after my oldest son was born. I was a new mother, completely stressed out by my colicky first born. And while I can feel some of the familiar pangs of what I went through back then, this time it feels different.

This time I imagine, my current mindset is a result of the last couple of tumultuous years I've experienced. Divorce, foreclosure, joint custody, and a new found sexual orientation. Sounds like a lot, huh? Yeah, it kind of is. My hope for this blog is ultimately self serving. Therapy for me. A way to express myself without censorship.

I didn't want to start this journey on such a depressing note (pun intended, haha!), but I feel that it's probably best to be honest with myself from the start about my state of mind. So this is where I begin.