In case you were wondering, yes, I shamelessly stole the title of my blog from John Mayer's self-released debut album with the same name. I became quite obsessed with him and his music about six or seven years ago. I still do enjoy his music, but not quite to the extent of obsession back then. I felt the title accurately portrayed how I feel about my life these days. My blog title reminds me of how much Mr. Mayer's music moved me... how alive I felt because I had finally found something to be passionate about. Most of my life I've felt fairly suppressed and didn't really understand the reason. While it may be quite obvious now, it certainly wasn't back then.
In other news, I am on day three of my journey to become a non-smoker. Yes, I've tried to quit in the past and did so successfully for three years before starting up again. I quit with each of my pregnancies without much problem. But then again, I was a fairly social smoker in those days. Plus, my ex despised it. So I would usually partake when I was out with the girls or at work. About a year and a half ago, my impending divorce and subsequent lifestyle change led me to turn to nicotine for some stress relief. These days, my habit has increased to about a half a pack a day. And that's unacceptable. I'm honestly just bored of it.
I know that I need help to quit. And if I want to be successful this time, the nicotine patch and I need to become inseparable. So here I sit with a patch on my shoulder trying to ignore the burning sensation taking over my right side. Oy.
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3 comments:
Thanks for leaving the comment on my blog. It's hard to question your whole life, and it's pretty intense to be feeling what I am. Hopefully, I will find some resolution around this someday.
Oh..and BTW, I've been a non smoker for 5 1/2 years now...you can do it!
Would you mind me adding you to my blogroll?
gee your story does feel familiar! it is so neat to find people who can relate to what you are going through and what you are feeling. guilt is a huge burden and hard to let go sometimes. but we need to and you are right - your kids will be happy when you are.
getting over the hurdles we have is so hard. i wish you luck in trying to quit smoking. thanks for visiting my blog.
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