The Passenger

If I had a blog, which I don't ;) I'd have called it Outside Wants In because my experience is the flip side of K, I'm LK, the passenger on her journey through all this. When I read what's written from her so far I see, Ex-husband, shared custody, new sexual identity, foreclosure, quitting smoking and depression. The weight of ONE of those things alone can crush a person, render them useless in this world, let alone the weight of ALL of those things. So, first and foremost, I'm very proud of her. I derive strength from her resolve. I'm truly in awe of the amazing person she is. I give my support to her and anyone who faces any of these issues and more. From my life experiences, I do know this, women are strong. And, from K, I'm learning a very important life lesson as the passenger here . . . . . . the hokey poky IS what it is all about. Seriously. You have to put your WHOLE self in. She has and she's still reeling from the effect of it. . . . . and I watch . . . .and listen . . . . and empathize . . . . and do everything I can except DRIVE. No hands on the wheel for me. If you are someone like me, I think you know it can feel overwhelming and maddening at times. I SO want to drive her life into a different direction at times. I WISH I was in the student driver car with the extra brake to stop it from certain directions . . . . .but I can't. For as much as I wish I could steer K away from pain and obstacles, I would steer her from learning and growth. For the most part, I try to enjoy the view, I am guilty of stomping my foot down every now and again on the imaginary brake I feel under my foot and I'm sorry every time I do. Each time I do, I short cut K's development and sharing in this process. So drive K, I'm buckled up and ready to go.